Thursday, September 25, 2008

After 4 bloody months!!

Does it take that long to type a 4 to 5 pages long of simple employment contract?

Does it take dozens of people to come up with a simple contract to validate and give sense of security and purpose to their staff?

Why do people wait till a drastic measure is taken to act?

I hate what I had to do today! But I now realise if this day didnt happen, I would just be continuously been taken for granted. I poured my heart and soul into it and all I asked is a simple contract to ensure my future. To those bigshots up there in the high level management, they may think this a trivial matter. But this is my livelyhood we'r talking about here. If you dont know how to respect that, how do you expect for others to respect and stay loyal to you? Leadership by example.

I dont even mind that they underpay and gave me a not deserving job title, but the least they can do is fulfill my basic necessity. I am quite a patient person. I joined with a huge risk when my contract was not given to me. I am so sorry but at this day and age, I cant afford to take someone's word because I have been screwed over so many times before that it made me as cold as ice.

Please do not take things personally, but you called me being unprofessional for leaving just like that?? What about your sense of responsibility as en employer (on top of that CEO!), and 'professionalism' to give me a god damn contract! I am not some illegal immigrant that came here by a bloody sampan! I am a professional with a lot of working experience and I am damn good at everything you give me! Just when i open my heart and love what I do, what do I get? Disappointments!

Well, what can I say? Its your lost, not mine. I already have an offer. And its a bloody good one.

So, eat your heart out!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Faded Freinds

I know a lot people can relate when I say that there are these unfortunate type of friends that fade away if they are not sincere and serious in building that special bond with you from that very first handshake.

These 'Faded Friends' are the ones that when they first met you, were so friendly and likes almost everything you like that its just plain creepy! The intensity is high but in a very short time. Like fireworks, when it stops, there's nothing there but an empty black sky.

I have been through my share of this lot. They say they are your friend, and will never forget you or nothing will ever change your friendship with them. Yeah, right! The hypocrites!

Its so exasperating when people say things they don't mean. And due to that, will give false hopes to those who actually like them. Damn! Now that's a big mistake!

And on top of that, they give really lame and stupid excuses! As if we were born an hour ago! If you don't want to be my friend anymore, just tell me to my face. We're all adults and should act like one.

One very good example of weak excuses, is always saying they are busy. Where in fact, they just don't want to hang around with you anymore and more time with their 'boyfriend'. But when their precious boyfriend cheats or dumps them, then all of a sudden they have time for you. Time for you to hear their sob stories and use your shoulder to cry on. Look, don't get me wrong, I don't mind that. Its just that these FF (faded friends) is just using me as an outlet. And the fool that I am, I always give in. I don't have the heart to reject them at their time of need. But the sick part is, when they have found a new love interest, you're back on that dark, dusty shelf.

So, I have learned to just not get them under my skin so much. I have learned to not care so much. Thanks to my dear hubby.

But I feel sad whenever I remember these 'Faded Friends'. They have become very dear to me. Oh, well. Life goes on. And I know its more of a loss for them than it is for me.

Note to FF: You know who you are. To quote Rachel from Friends (ironically!), 'I AM OVER YOU.." (my closure la!)

Sunday, September 7, 2008

31 years

5Th September 1977.. 31 years ago, I was born.

I was an accidental pregnancy. My mum doesn't even know she was carrying me. She ate a lot of things that she's not suppose to, like pineapple, and ate tonnes of it! And on top of that she asked my cousin, who was extremely big at that time, to step on her back because she have a terrible back ache. She only knew she was pregnant after a couple of months. Miraculously, I am still strongly in tact in her womb. My mum keep saying, even then, I am already very stubborn.

I have been through quite a lot of things. Good, bad, funny and even weird stuff and not to mention the colourful people I've met. And I am proud to say, the combination of all those incidents have made me what I am today. I would not change anything, even situations that hurt me. For me, there's always a reason and a blessing for everything.

This year my birthday was pretty relaxed. Not that I mind, but it was different. I find it quite calming. After all, I am 31 years old already. I cant expect to celebrate it like I am some teenager. Well, I could if I want to, but this is quite nice too. Maybe because this year my birthday falls on fasting month have a lot to do with it. But I kinda like the fact that its on fasting month. Weird huh?

Rizal's gift was different this year. He gave me six empty 4R silver frames. I smiled when I saw it and hugged him tightly. Maybe you guys don't understand but you see, we bought a digital camera last week. And he knows I love to take pictures. Therefore, instead of giving the usual accessories (not that I don't love them!), he gave me the creativity freedom of taking our photos. He always surprises me when it comes to presents for me! Thank you, my love. I love it!

This year I was surprised to see quite a lot of people actually remembered my birthday. I received a lot of sms and I thank you all. It was a very pleasant surprise.

The night of my birthday, we gave mummy a surprise by going back and brought back lots of yummy food to eat. She was so happy and so was I and we ate so much! We talked till late at night and had lots of fun. We even had sahur together after such a long time. While having sahur, I noticed Rizal's version of sahur is drinking lots of water and smoking, which is so similar to Papa. God! I miss him so much! My heart aches! But I didn't show it in front of anyone, especially mummy. She is already very sensitive at this time of the year. But I wish he was here. So that he can finally be proud of me.

Its been 5 years already. I thought that with as years pass by, it wouldn't be so heart wrenching anymore. But, I was wrong. Its still lingering in my heart. Especially now, that I am finally doing well. Its doubly hard for me to get over the fact that Papa is no longer with me. I always expect him to be with his bonsais, trimming them. It doesn't help that he is a quiet person, so its like his still around , just not saying anything much. I miss you so much, Papa. I wish you are here to share my happiness. I hope that you are proud of me. Love you Papa!

What a birthday has it turn out to be. Its definitely different and soothing. Hey, maybe this is a sign I am no longer the crazy bitchy woman that I was before. Maybe I am finally growing up. Hmm.... NAH! I am still ever so crazy and even more bitchy! And I am damn proud of it!! So, look out people, Yana is here to stay! (whether you like it or not!)

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Game of Tag anyone?

It seems there is a game of tag going around that I didnt know of. And I was tagged by 2 people. Now I dont know if that is a good sign or not because in this altered version of cyber tag game, the person that's been tagged has to:

a) State 15 weird things/habits or little known facts about yourself.
b) Tag 10 people to do it
c) No tag backs

So, here I go.

15 Weird things / habits about me that other people may or may not know...

1) I do not like my food to.. 'touch' each other. You know, like when you tapau nasi campur, and the food are piled on top of the rice... Ya, I dont like that. If it happens, I will take my time to separate them before I start eating.

2) I am an extreme fan of Freinds. I know all there is to know about them.

3) I love to play with other people's fingers. Its an addiction, especially when I wanna fall asleep.

4) I am extremely verbally abusive when I'm driving (bordering on a bully!)

5) I love beautiful, hot and sexy people - men and women. (especially women!)

6) I am voyeuristic - Its such a BIG turn on!

7) I do not like to see a quiet person in a group. I will talk to them till their break!

8) I do not like insects!! They're small and can go anywhere, and I mean ANYWHERE!

9) I am very organised at the office but a total mess at home!

10) I have no patience for stupid people.

11) I am always horny!

12) I am not a morning person.

13) People always think I am so baik and funny but I can be very mean - verbally or physically.

14) I can size up a person in less than hour. And I am usually 90% right.

15) I can sense things are not right or something bad is about to happen. And sometimes, I have premonitions.

Well, thats all.

Now, the next victims are:
Diane, Alyssa, Q, Dinesh, Haiza, Ghani, Reena, Mei Lyn, Joey and Aidan.

At last I'm done!!