Monday, October 11, 2010

the unexpected

i dont even know how to begin this topic...

some people say, hey its just a job. but the problem is, for me...a its not.

i love my job!

i love helping people, i love seeing their face lit up when they are healthier and/or wealthier! when u get some stranger hugging you tight, crying and thanking you for helping them get healthy or out of financial dilemma....its a rush! an undescribable feeling! thats what made me love this job!

it helps that my working environment is great too - fun and caring colleagues and cool, undertsanding bosses. Thats why i turned down one or two great offers that was offered to me in the past 2 years. i thought hey, i have finally found my place in this world. somewhere i can grow and be happy fo many years to come.

so i was shocked when my dear young boss said this to me in his email:

"As far as the Company is concerned all marketing should have asked to leave upon 2 years of failure."

"This company has provided much and still continues to provide even more in future. If you feel this way, LEAVE."

i was so crushed! after TWO years of pouring my heart and soul in this job and company! i sacrificed many weekends and family time to achieve the goal! And this is what i get? it all started with a small problem, and he manage to turn it around turn it to this very hurtful emarks. And after only half an hour he comes up to me and be funny and poking at me as if nothing happens. i cant pretend as well as he can. if im hurt, it shows and it will tae time to heal.

i wasnt angry, like i usually would. i was so hurt. everyone that knows me knows how passionate i am about this company and my job. why cant he see that?

Rizal said he was just venting his frustatrations. but why dump it on me? He said to let it go. But i know he knows as he said that to me, its not going to be the same anymore.

I will still respect him as a boss, but that is all. i dont like how i felt that day after reading that dreadful email. and i dont want to go thought that again. it will always be imprinted in my head. now when i see him, all i remember is him saying that i am a failure! And i am so totally not! thats what hurts the most!


i get hurt again. i never learn my lesson! never get too close!

Im sorry H, my wall is up again...and i dont know when/IF it will ever be down for you..