Friday, July 3, 2009



I am sick and tired of people act all nice with me yet behind my back they dont think of me as a friend. I am begining to think Rizal's right. I am too idealistic when it comes to relationships.

I am the type if we say we are good friends, I truly believe it and will trust that person a lot. And I will try to help and be there for them as much as I can.

But once too many times I am caught off guard with a big knife at my back! And to make it worse, when confronted, they will never admit it. Liar! Fuckin hypocrite!

I practice what I preach. It saddens me that people always think that I am too domineering and bossy. I am so sorry for having a bloody spine and sticking to what I think is right. At least I have my own opinion than just lying down and letting others walk all over you.

The most heart breaking part is that I always mean well and do my best to accomodate those I care. But why does it always look like I am a selfish demanding bitch?

I seriously dont care what strangers think or do to me. But I cant take it when the people I trust and love are hypocrites and back stabbers.

I dont expect people to praise me all the time and follow my every wish, but at least be honest with me and tell me if anything I do is not to your liking.

And I hate whiners. Especially those who whine and bitch, feeling sorry for themselves and not lift a finger to improve their situation. And later, blames God for every shitty thing that happen to you. WTF? Dont like your life? Well, stop bitching and get off your ass and fuckin hell do something about it!

The people that I trust a lot, betrays me.

I hate people that axes friends that lends a helping hand. I hate people who 'lupa daratan'! Forgets how they got there in the first place. I hate people that forget the hand that helped them get out of the freaking shit hole in the first place.

My late father did warn me about this trait of mine - Idealistic. I expect everyone to give their best, to be honest all the time because thats what I do. And I always have high expectations of others.

I now learn the hard way - through plenty of personal experience - that I cant fully trust anyone but my Dad and myself!

My Dad is not with me anymore.

Miss you Papa. I wish you are here.

I have never felt so hollow in my entire life.